this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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