Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
