Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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