I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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