its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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