yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
