Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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