im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
