I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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