remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize