Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I love having hate sex.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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