people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize