he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
