I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
