Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
