My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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