I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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