Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
