i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
should my penis look like a turkey
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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