just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
