Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
As shirtless as possible
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
