okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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