Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
