I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
how drunk are you?
Several
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