i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
