Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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