I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
