I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
