my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize