When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
