Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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