Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
