We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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