Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
