I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
