no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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