It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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