You really coming over, don't trick.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Damn victory sex feels great
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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