there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
The ass gains better be worth it
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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