I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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