I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We left the knife in your bed.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
