I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
