Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
