mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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