y did u give ur computer a hand job?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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