The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
