oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
