yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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