Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
