Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
