Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
