Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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