is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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