Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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