I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
