But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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