The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
