shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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