he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
