Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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