5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
