He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
