Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize