I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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