STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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